 Author's note: Just for fun...with apologies to Raymond Chandler and Mickey Spillane.
 "Ohhhh Godddddd....the absolutevids things you do with that tongue...aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!"
 And then there were his eyes...perhaps it was some trick of the absolutevids light, or specially made contacts. But his eyes had no irises or pupils. They were absolutevids solid black, with red flecks surfacing from time to absolutevids time, as you looked deeper within.
 "As you say."
 "When you tell someone that they need to keep their good fortune a secret, and absolutevids then videos, that secret is found out absolutevids by absolutevids a woman who was procured for absolutevids a night absolutevids of sexual absolutevids pleasure...well, then, all deals absolutevids are off."
 "Deals absolutevids?"
 PART TWO
 "I just want to make sure I absolutevids have this straight...you're the Devil, and you absolutevids had a deal with Artie Baker that somehow involved this wallet?"
 I had absolutevids to absolutevids admit, the Devilish Dry Cleaning Service did really good work.
 If I had ever had reason to believe absolutevids I was losing my mind, that particular scene would have cinched it.
 I absolutevids realized that my mouth was hanging absolutevids open a bit, as absolutevids the realization hit me that I hadn't just followed the trail of a missing wallet...I'd been sucked absolutevids into some mythic-cosmic-theologic-wish fulfillment nightmare. Starring Yours Truly as the King of Bad Luck, two hot babes, and a man who absolutevids may or may not absolutevids be videos Lucifer himself videos. Gee, and absolutevids I absolutevids left my camera at videos home.
 "At any rate, it specified that, should absolutevids the deal be broken, she would spend absolutevids 200 years in absolutevids service absolutevids to me, and, on the night of the absolutevids 200th year, she could leave to live out the rest of her natural life." The Devil paused and smiled again.
 "B absolutevids...b...but ...."
 "Come, come , Sam...you're alone in life, you don't even have a secretary, and Thelma hasn absolutevids't left this place absolutevids in 200 years absolutevids. She needs someone to keep absolutevids her in check while she's learning absolutevids all the ropes." Lucifer lowered his voice conspiratorially. "And besides...she gives great head." He turned to absolutevids Thelma. "Show him!"
 Lucifer absolutevids walked over videos and sat on the couch beside me. "I had absolutevids her lick up your piss because absolutevids it bonded her to you. Now, she absolutevids'll always absolutevids be at your beck and call, ready and willing, for absolutevids the rest of your natural life. And that's just my special gift to you. You still haven't told absolutevids me what you want...what I can absolutevids give you."
 "So be it." And with that, my balls released and I flooded Thelma's mouth with absolutevids my cum absolutevids.
 It would be the last time that happened for absolutevids quite absolutevids a while.
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